The @MLAJobs JIL is now closed.  We wish all applicants the best of luck (as well as time machines where necessary) in their searches, and all search committees the best of intentions in theirs.

We have no doubt that some candidates will be so fortunate as to receive requests for further materials and perhaps even invitations for interviews. And we have no doubt that some committees will need assistance in communicating those requests and invitations to appropriate recipients. Know that when that time comes @MLAJobs stands by, ready to offer our services.

Boise State University is seeking a specialist in precisely your area of study. Additional specializations in all of the other things you’ve studied, published on, or expressed the slightest interest in at any point in your scholarly career are also highly desirable.  We have, in fact, designed this position specifically to match your cv, and fully anticipate offering you both an interview and a campus visit, both of which will go so stunningly well that it will be all you can do not to start pricing houses and friending members of our faculty on Facebook. We will, however, be awarding this job to another candidate entirely, whom we will describe to you in our rejection letter as “a better fit.”

The College on the Hill seeks tenure-track Assistant Professor of Popular Culture. Join a department renowned for its innovative classes in Elvis Studies, The Poetics of Car Crashes, Cerealboxology, and the Geography of Toothbrushing. The ideal candidate will study short-lived memes about academia itself that occur on social media sites like Twitter and Tumblr.

Duke University seeks a specialist in French literature of 1940-1950s Sierra Leone within a post-post-colonial framework. Candidate may also have done some research on the immediately preceding decade, though this is optional. PhD required. Candidate will teach a 2-2 course load consisting only of upper-level undergraduate and graduate literature seminars.

Duke is also hiring part-time lecturers to teach all years of French language classes. Lecturers must have native or near-native language skills and an Master’s degree, any specialization. Lecturers will operate on 1 year renewable contracts, and will teach a 5-5 course load of large undergraduate classes.

The American University seeks an assistant professor of creative writing. Must have two books and appearance in Poetry/Esquire/Best American.

Applicant who has friends with MFAs who will accept jobs as lecturers also attractive is desirable. Responsibilities include: Reading series to feature Toni Morrison, Billy Collins, et. al., editorial work, website design, grant writing, writing-across-the-curriculum, online curriculum development and the occasional poem for our President. 

The Department of American Studies at the University of Virginia invites qualified professionals to apply for the newly-created Phillip Morris Chair in Jeffersonian Hagiography. This position has a light teaching load (1/0) but requires the chair to publish two or more peer-reviewed articles per year furthering the scholarly understanding of Thomas Jefferson’s magnificence and grace. The Chair is also expected to serve and personally consume Virginia wines, and to take the lead in capital campaigns designed (in alternating years) to preserve the University’s historic 1820’s architectural heart, and to bury that heart ever deeper within vast and glittering research parks doing God-knows-what.

Stanford University is hiring an Assistant Professor in English literature specializing in the 18th and/or 19th century. Applications should be postmarked 10/25.

Our rejection letters should be postmarked 11/2. In that letter, which you will undoubtedly receive, we will mention a number of applicants rounded to the nearest hundred, so you can feel better about being unemployed still.  

Our announcement of a hire of a published scholar who already holds an assistant professorship at another university should be postmarked 1/27/13.

The Folger Library is pleased to announce a joint appointment with the English Department of Georgetown University. We seek a senior scholar of Oxfordian theory.

The Folger Library is an equal opportunity employer.

Ohio University announces that it will not be hiring in English this year, as part of the university’s mission to shrink the department to the size where you can drown it in a bathtub.

SUNY Potsdam is seeking a specialist in composition and rhetoric to teach freshman-level and upper division composition courses and provide professional development for non-tenure-track and adjunct faculty. Preference will be given to candidates with an expressed interest and experience in actually teaching composition; those candidates who prefer to teach upper-division literature courses should disguise their preferences accordingly.